I remember meeting a good-natured ogre

when visiting the canals of Amsterdam.

He lived under a bridge next to a statue of his mentor,

and eked his sustenance from the rare kroket falling from above.

Hungry for more, he yearned for meat!

Lost farmers ferried the littlest cow across the ogre’s domain,

when the monster’s hunger was sublimated to passion.

Her vision of loveliness entranced the ogre!

Fixated on his prize,

the ogre bludgeoned the yokels,

and bred his idol.

Dreaming of a happy family,

the ogre’s scion was conceived.

Prithvi was enraged

and enlisted the help of Kali to doom the progeny!

The calf was malformed

and his mother died during birth.

Dejected, the ogre became morose,

pledged veganism,

and cried enough tears to flood western europe

were it not for my penchant for hole plugging.