The Enchanted Calliope

Remember when we were just eight years old?

After having spent recess playing four-square,

we flew to Austria via astral projection

and made a deal with benevolent Perchta.

She gave us oodles of Rolos

to feed her cassowary

when she flew off ripping the hearts from the pious,

just like the Aztecs at Tenochtitlan.

The unfortunate side effect of the candy

was to drive the bird to frenzy.

The only way to quiet the creature

was to wear the special suit

and serenade it with a lullaby from her enchanted calliope

whose song gave us thoughts of paradise.

In exchange for petsitting

Perchta blessed us with everlasting cynicism!

You parlayed the curse into a career as a life coach

to the cancerous lepers of Molokai

knowing they'd never heal

and snickering your way to sleep each night.

I, of course, used my treasure

to bring nightmares to the faceless.