Upon receiving a tip from Gurnee...

Scrumptiousuperbee leapt to the aid of her gorgeous, imaginary friend Misterkevin

His fingers were to be cut off, and cast to sea, creating all of the seals and walruses.

She rushed to the tundra lickety-split.

Only to find it almost too late.

His friends considered him god-like.

Her mission was accomplished with the cash she raised from selling their furry clothes in a garage sale. He is saved.
 

Misterkevin is honored that his friend Scrumptiousuperbee

composed this comment for him. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcRLplkMTBQ

Good faerie friend Hathaway is a whiz with the creepy costume. Here's a short video of a recent Tennessee performance.

I peeped through a keyhole,

and saw you housesitting for Adam Kadmon

who left for a tryst with Furrina.

His strict instructions

were to walk his dog, Lilith,

who led you to a yellow boa.
 

There, the canine morphed into Helios

with beams of light from hir eyes.

In the light, a vision of Apollo manifest.

You walked on water and breathed fire!

Apollo ravaged you with a phallic cross.

You screamed to Pan for mercy

while Apollo chanted, "come forth, o children under the stars, and take your fill of love!"

You woke up drooling on a bath mat

with a new eye of infinity tattoo on your forehead.

Mourning Dove

I'll bully the sparrows off the feeder. I'm a giant! And why does that cute man still have spunk in his goatee? I've never seen him here before and he only stayed 15 minutes.

Cardinals

We're completely at peace eating all of the food in misterkevin's earthly temple to god's greatness, even though he doesn't seem to be religious in any traditional sense. He has all those eccentric friends, but maybe we can convert him?

Black-capped Chickadee

Misterkevin seems sullen today. Does he have too much on his mind? Ohmigod! Gulliver and Xena are going to eat me.

Goldfinch

I love the nyjer thistle seed misterkevin feeds me, but does he have to pee under my feeding tube?

Downy Woodpecker

The smoke wafting out of misterkevins's house sure takes the edge off my headache.

Pine Grosbeak

When misterkevin walks around his house all naked and stuff, he looks like some kind of directionless, hairless sleepy bear. That reminds me, I'm hungry for grubs.

House Sparrow

I need a bath and so does misterkevin. I'm feeling extra funky. How about a soak in the bubbler?

Hummingbird

I'm addicted to the honeysuckle nectar, but I can't stand that artificial crap David puts out here. SUGAR!

Mallard Duck Family

We enjoy roosting in misterkevin's back yard each spring flying to our home in the north. That stupid dalmatian mix dog, Lucky, at the neighbor's house is a real nuisance. Stop barking at us, you cretin!

Bat

I don't like this place at all. That bathouse misterkevin put up in the old burr oak was atrocious. I'm never coming back!

Robin

More food please! I'd like more black sunflower seeds. This cheap stuff misterkevin buys from HOBO isn't nearly as good as the food I eat at my second home in Lake Forest.

Black Squirrel

I'm so happy misterkevin put in those birdhouses high in the trees which I could turn into private condos. I'll move in the whole family.

Rabbit

Mmmm. That fresh kangaroo paw plant was delicious! What plants can I destroy next?

Chipmunk

I enjoyed those lily bulbs growing into my underground nest. I'm always happy to dig little holes in the gardens and disrupt the mulch. I just wish he wouldn't drown my brothers and sisters to death with that hose.

Skunk

The stench I sprayed in misterkevin's root cellar made his eyes water more than when he cried about putting his mother in a nursing home.

Racoon

I want to make love on the concord grape arbor while making ugly feral sounds to wake misterkevin up at 4AM! Xena's a slut. I'm gonna do her next.

White Tailed Deer

Ugh! I ate something terrible from the garden and now I'm going to trample all the plants and vomit in the fountain.

Toad

Galumph! The gnats around the sedum taste so good, but I can't stand the yardworkers constantly destroying my private underbrush with that dangerous weedeater.

I have seen the future!

We'll become primitive sex slaves.

To the Armani Über Dog-God!

Friday, August 1

    * 2:15pm - 3:15pm   Yeasayer (AT&T)  
    * 3:15pm - 4:15pm   The Kills (MySpace)  
    * 3:15pm - 4:15pm   Duffy (PlayStation)  
    * 4:15pm - 5:15pm    The Black Keys (Bud Light)  
    * 5:15pm - 6:15pm   Cat Power (PlayStation)  
    * 7:00pm - 8:00pm   CSS (Citi)  
    * 8:00pm - 10:00pm  Radiohead (AT&T)  

Saturday, August 2

    * 12:30pm - 1:30pm    Does it Offend You Yeah? (Bud Light)  
    * 12:45pm - 1:30pm  The Ting Tings (AT&T)  
    * 2:15pm - 3:00pm   Foals (Citi)  
    * 2:30pm - 3:30pm  The Gutter Twins (AT&T)  
    * 3:30pm - 4:30pm   MGMT (MySpace)  
    * 6:30pm - 7:30pm  Lupe Fiasco (AT&T)  
    * 6:30pm - 7:30pm   Battles (Citi)  
    * 7:30pm - 8:30pm   Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings (PlayStation)  
    * 8:30pm - 10:00pm  Rage Against the Machine (AT&T)  

Sunday, August 3

    * 2:15pm - 3:15pm  Brazilian Girls (AT&T)  
    * 3:15pm - 4:15pm   Chromeo (MySpace)  
    * 6:15pm - 7:15pm    Love and Rockets (Bud Light)  
    * 7:15pm - 8:30pm   Mark Ronson (MySpace)  
    * 8:15pm - 10:00pm    Nine Inch Nails (Bud Light)  

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant


Who was very rarely stable.

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar


Who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out-consume


Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel,


And Wittgenstein was a beery swine


Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya'


'Bout the raising of the wrist.

Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed...


John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,


On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away;


Half a crate of whiskey every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,


Hobbes was fond of his dram,


And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink, therefore I am"


Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed;

A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed!
 

Inspired by Scrumptiousuperbee and her suggestion of her favorite Monty Python song.