Immanuel Kant was a real pissant 
Who was very rarely stable. 
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar 
Who could think you under the table. 
David Hume could out-consume 
Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel, 
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine 
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel. 
There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya' 
'Bout the raising of the wrist. 
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed... 
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will, 
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill. 
Plato, they say, could stick it away; 
Half a crate of whiskey every day. 
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle, 
Hobbes was fond of his dram, 
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink, therefore I am" 
Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed; 
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed! 
Inspired by Scrumptiousuperbee and her suggestion of her favorite Monty Python song.
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